Precipice

The sun sets on a mediocre day
She lifts her face to the waning rays
trying hard to recall the scorching waves the he used to bring
it had been so long since she felt his touch

leaning onto him for support
she shifted her weight and turned towards him
hello
hi he replied

how did it come to this
how did passion surrender to routine
how did fear turn into jealousy
and jealousy turn to rage

too many harsh words had passed between them
too many unanswered questions and unsolved puzzles
trust had become a precious commodity
with a price that was too high for them to pay

here now in the winter of their youth
they remain still
for surely not moving gives neither the chance to opportion blame

Faded Photographs

I remember walking
forever holding hands
I remember dancing
and swimming in the sands
city lights shimmering
the water reflecting our skyline
I remember love
not always
but most of the time
I remember salt
from the sea and from tears
how can salt taste sweet
even through the lens of years?

Hey Delilah

October 2010

summer has gone and winter beckons
fruit that has ripened will soon soften
my heart in yours and your hands in mine
together we step through the sands of time
rainfall and snowflakes and sunshine and fog
we know these seasons won't last for long
my feet are tired and your eyes are red
still we shoulder on and carry the dead
these are the times of struggle and sparkle
the moon tells us to to stay out of trouble
your arms are wide and I crumble within
the stars will protect us from all sin

past poems

CRY
let it well up inside you
give up the pride in which you place so much value
crying doesn't make you less of a person
it just shows that you are only human
how can you turn your back on your heart?
when you know she was there for you right from the start
yes she's gone now, but hope still remains
and someday your paths might cross again

REACH
little boy with so much wonder
take what the world has to offer
do not tremble as the crowd roars
they are just voices with no real force
soon you'll know that they only preach
but they can't control what they can't reach
so rise up, son, the sea is ahead
plunge in the water, don't hesitate
I will be here as long as life gives me
everything'll work out, soon you will see

SMILE
pens, paper, breifcases and contracts
the job you hold dictates how you talk and act
your collegues think you're something else
and your boss thanks you for increasing his wealth
you think you're on the top of the world
then one day you brush pass this bewitching young girl
she takes one look at you and turns away
the weather takes a sharp turn from sunny to grey
you scrutinise yourself to find the turn off
shudders run through you as you look at yourself
when had those thin lines appeared on your face
when had that infallible charm lost its grace
worse of the worst were those once bright eyes
dark as the night and cold as the winter sky
your job has taken more than you expected
a hard, calculating man is what you have created
how can you justify this change in your being
when the boy you once were could still be heard singing
deep within the mind of the man
the spirit of the boy hatches a plan
he would find that girl and steal her heart
she won't know what hit her, it'd be off the charts
and so begins the journey to find what was missing
wasn't it time you really started living?

Circa March 09

Baby baby baby

she's a heavy contradiction
fast love professional
never sneezes less than twice
geek, heels, toast, makeup
shallow, materialistic, bold and beautiful
she's in your past but not in your future
trying to leave it all behind
not what you ordered
sugary sweet and bitter aftertaste
stylistic amateur without a preference

In repair

take one day at a time
take it bit by bit
the bitter and the sweet

take one day at a time
take it nice and slow
try to go with the flow

take one day at a time
take it step by step
don’t stumble or fret

take one day at a time my friend
and soon you’ll find the strength
to stand tall, to stand proud
but most of all, to be happy on your own

Possession

It was the one thing he coveted most, her attention.

Once, a long time ago, she had been his centre. It was a very long time ago, but she remembered it fondly and held those moments close to her. She was paranoid and afraid of mundane things, like the stain in the left corner, or the chill creeped over her in the middle of the night. There wasn't much that she could hold close to her anymore.

I will always love you, I have no choice on that matter, but I don't have to like you.

Her face was lined with bitterness, her voice cracking with sorrow. Every muscle in her body straining against her heart. Oh he was stubborn! And even in her anger she felt a cold sense of pride that was seeping through her body. He was stubborn just like her. He was going to marry her anyway, she could see it. But she needed him to see all the negative things that were going to be said. She needed to play the devil's advocate. She needed to open his eyes.

She never wanted to be estranged or cut off. She wanted to be the one to give him the support, and all the help that he needed. But things never do work out the way that you want them to. You can't always get what you want, so goes the song.

And now she had to sit aside, watching him and his famiy from afar. Hearing about his every move, worrying whether he might fall and need her. She was distraught. Why didn't he call? She wailed to herself when she heard he was scraping by with that new wife of his. Why didn't he call? Her heart filled with longing when she saw his newborn. And despite her warnings, despite her best efforts to protect him, it happened anyway.

She left him. She left him after countless nights of arguments and tears, after she had been rejected again and again, and couldn't understand how he could be so flippant, so damned complacent about the entire thing.

And here was the outcome, plain and simple. She had been right. She had been right from the start, that a 20something year old girl from a different background, a different class, will never fit into his cookie-cutter simple life. All he wanted was to have a happy family. She knew that. As his mother, she saw into his soul. She knew exactly what he was thinking and where he wanted to be.

So with him sitting before her on the sofa, she tried not to let her feelings show. She tried hide her hope and her happiness that he was finally back into her life. That once again, she mattered to him again.

"Its okay, we don't have to talk about what happened," she offered him a release.

"I'm a wreck mum. I have no one to turn to," he crumbled in front of her. "She wants half the house."

"That's ridiculous. Don't worry, I know some people, we'll sort this out," she took his hand. "I know its hard."

And help him she did. She set the wheels in motion for settlement without going to court. She put aside some money every month for her grandson that she never held. She also tried hard to put aside the feeling of regret and betrayal, but none of that mattered more than having him back into the fold.

Then one morning she received a call. It was her, asking if she would like to meet for coffee.

"I don't think there's anything left to discuss," she said stiffly.

"I just wanted to set the record straight. I know you always thought I was bad news."

"You were," there was no room left for doubt in her mind. "You smoked, dressed like a slut and came from the wrong side of the river. And then you left him just when he needed you most."

"I left him because he spent half the time systematically drinking and fucking his way through the entire company!" her eyes flashed in anger. "When he promised to help support Aiden I thought he still cared, but I haven't seen a penny."

Its a curious thing when your beliefs are shattered. When your trust and faith in the one person you thought you knew falls to pieces. She had raised him to respect women, instead he had used them. But he was still her son. Still, her everything.

And she was forced to do the very thing that she swore not to do. She stood by him. Because he wasn't her husband, he was her flesh and blood. Later that night, she confronted him, and said the words that she had said before to shock him, but this time she meant it.

"I will always love you, I have no choice on that matter, but I don't have to like you."